Fifteen more minutes, I told myself as I sat through what felt like the longest class of my life. I contemplated how I could even manage to sit through another fifteen minutes of learning about something as boring as the history of early civilizations. My only problem was that it was only my second class of the day and I still had four more classes to get through. As I watched the clock on the wall I realized that this was exactly how I would be feeling in my next four classes. No matter how hard I tried to pay attention in classes, I never was able to efficiently take notes or retain any information from our lessons. Seven hours of school never got easier. My whole life I was told my bad grades were simply due to being “lazy” and not wanting to put the work in to succeed academically. Each report card I got back for as long as I can remember had negative feedback regarding my attention span or how I was always too distracted in class. In elementary/middle school I was placed into AIS classes, which is a state mandated program to assist students with literacy and math skills. I always had extra help from tutors and AIS classes, yet I never was able to improve my academic performance.
My first two years of high school were the most academically challenging years of my life. My GPA was extremely low, I failed math classes, and just barely passed in other subjects. At this point, my parents were spending hundreds on tutors and starting to get frustrated with my constant failing grades. I knew that my grades in high school determined what college I would get into, and I was feeling helpless because I just couldn’t retain any information. My junior year of high school was when my tutors and parents realized I was putting in as much effort as possible, but still receiving the same poor feedback. That was when my parents decided to get me evaluated by a neurologist.
My younger brother, Timmy, had been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD) and dyslexia at a young age, so they decided to have me evaluated as well. Despite me and Timmy having very different behaviors in school, it couldn’t hurt to try. Timmy is basically the poster child for ADHD (as he would agree). He was disruptive in class, couldn’t stop moving, and never was able to pay attention. Timmy was able to be diagnosed by the age of eight because his teachers recommended to my parents that he should get evaluated because of his very obvious signs of ADHD.
I went through a long evaluation process - being pulled out of classes and various doctors appointments where they would stick wires on my head to observe my cognitive performances. During the time of all my tests and evaluations, I definitely felt out of place. These types of tests are done to children in their early school years and I was a junior in high school having to be pulled out of classes for it. The conclusions of my evaluations showed that I had a significant delay in mathematics, and that I overall met the requirements of Inattentive ADHD. This type of ADHD does not show signs of hyperactivity and often goes undiagnosed, especially in females. After my diagnosis, I was put on medication to help me focus and was taught effective ways that students with Inattentive ADHD can learn and retain information in classes. I was given an official IEP document that granted me accommodations in school to help me succeed such as extended time, modified tests, and access to note taking softwares. By the end of junior year I made second honors for my grades, something I never had thought I would be able to accomplish.
Suddenly it all made sense to me - I was never “lazy” and “unmotivated” like how previous teachers had labeled me. I went sixteen years having undiagnosed ADHD and because I did not show symptoms of hyperactivity and impulsiveness, nobody ever considered that ADHD could be a contribution to my lack of an attention span and poor academic grades. Since finding out I have ADHD, I have been able to understand my strengths and weaknesses of my brain, and accepted that being a little behind in school was never something I could control. By getting treatment I was able to turn my life around in every aspect - academically, emotionally, and physically. There are different forms of ADHD, and each person displays signs differently. My younger brother and I function completely differently when it comes to school, but we both have ADHD and both need treatment to succeed.
ADHD is becoming increasingly common, which is why it is important to continue spreading awareness of the different types of ADHD. For a long time, school education systems have taught curriculum with little attention to how those with learning disabilities may comprehend it. While there are many programs within schools to help learning disabled students such as ADHD, more can still be done. The reality is - not every person can comprehend information at the same pace, everyone has different ways of learning or studying. It all starts with awareness. Most of my life I struggled through school because of my undiagnosed ADHD. I am now able to manage my learning disability in a way that has improved my quality of life immensely, and even on bad days where I feel "dumb" or unmotivated, I will not let my disability get the best of me.
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